Radio Silence | ⭐⭐⭐⭐ | Review

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Radio Silence

Written by Alice Oseman

Published March 2017 by HarperTeen

#youngadult, #asexual, #demisexual, #queer, #lgbtqia, #nonbinary, #exams, #collegeentrance, #podcast, #youtube, #socialmedia

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This will be my second review in a week discussing a book with asexual representation and while I rated this book lower I feel it actually had stronger ace rep. I don't want the lack of a fifth star to scare anybody off of this one. For me and where I am today, I very rarely enjoy reading about the experience of a teenager getting through high school and into college. It simply isn't an experience that I enjoyed when I was going through it and for that reason I don't particularly enjoy reading about others doing it. The theme and plot of this book revolved around college, getting in to college, deciding whether you even want to go, parsing the pressure from others in your life to follow a particular path or even the pressure we put on ourselves to do so. I couldn't fully enjoy the experience. This does not however mean that I don't think those themes or discussions aren't important.

If I was a junior or senior in high school this book may have been incredibly helpful to me in figuring out what I was doing with my life. Unfortunately for me it was published several years too late for that help. I want to say that if there is a parent of even a teen looking for a book that has a high achieving student who thinks that they should be going to one of the best schools in the country simply because they are a high achiever, even if their interests seem to align more with art of creative fields this might be a book to read and help them think about where those pressures are coming from. For one of the characters the pressure is from his mother who values college education more than his mental health or well-being. For another her mom is very laid back but she has been achieving so highly and set on getting into the most well known school in the country from a very young age that she hasn't taken the time to really consider anything else. This discussion is important, especially for those of us who live in the United States and will likely be in an unending debt due to our attendance at those good schools. College should be a choice and not the only option for most graduating students. I think this book may help raise some of those questions in kids and help them navigate thinking about alternatives.

Now, with my bit of a disclaimer out of the way I wanted to highlight the asexual, or in this case, demisexual representation in this book as I myself identify as demisexual. I loved the representation here. Aled is in a relationship with another boy his age who he has been friends with for years before they started doing anything even remotely close to romantic. There is a very impactful scene where his boyfriend confides in the protagonist that he is always terrified that he has been manipulating Aled as Aled never really seemed "into it" whether that be kissing or anything else sexual. I have had partners in my past who have expressed the same feelings to me, that I'm not showing as much of a sexual drive when it comes to interacting with each other. When, later in the book, Aled confesses to his partner that he does want to be with him but he thinks he is asexual or demisexual it helped illuminate for both of them why he doesn't seem as sexually driven.

If you want to here me explain in more detail what demisexuality is and what these scenes in particular mean to me. I did make a video discussing ace representation on my youtube channel that might help you understand this a bit better. Overall, I appreciated that the asexual character was in a relationship, was engaging in sexual activity that he was consenting to and enjoying. I loved that the allosexual partner was constantly checking in and making sure at every step that what they were doing was withing the comfort range of his partner. I appreciated that they struggled with their differences but cared about their relationship and each other enough to discuss it, even when those discussions were difficult. Something that even grown adults struggle with and modeling healthy relationships and exploring with sexuality and interest throughout this book was very well done.

Since not everyone will feel as strongly as me about that element the other main feature that is discussed in here involves fandom, creativity, and anonymity online as a creator. Something that was only just starting to be a thing when I was a teenager (YouTube was just starting to really take off and most of the major Podcasts were just starting to hit mainstream) but is almost integral to teenagers right now. The main character is obsessed with a podcast, she learns that it is being put out by her neighbor and as they start working together. The anonymity that Aled had so carefully wrapped into the project in order to discuss some personal things (like a possible non-binary gender identity and his struggles with his runaway twin sister) and to hide it from his mom (who would not value it and likely force him to stop making it as it could impact his school work) begins to unravel. It of course discusses the relationships we have with art and the things we create. How we set boundaries online and how fandom somehow seems intent to tear down those walls we so carefully build. How putting parts of yourself online can lead people to speculate about your relationships or intentions based on how and when information is disclosed. It is another interesting aspect of this novel that I really enjoyed unpacking and could be very helpful to teens today as they are attempting to navigate it themselves.

So yes, I felt this book was incredibly thoughtful and was able to weave all of these themes and aspects in a way that I felt was genuine and touching. I struggled to embrace aspects of the novel that were integral to it simply from my own place in my life journey and for that reason I rated it 4 stars but I wanted to talk about how there were a lot of very well done elements and express that this is definitely a good book. It is not a heavily romantic text as so many other young adult books are and focused more on an inter sex friendship which I also really appreciated. This is definitely one that will appeal to high school age kids or perhaps folk who have just gone off to college, but I think the former will gain the most from reading it. There is both academic merit and some personal growth elements that are well worth reading, plus I always appreciate a book that incorporates queer characters that don't feel like tokens and are going through the same struggles as their straight peers, because we really are just humans.

I'm always looking for recommendations (especially of books with ace or demi rep) so send any suggestions my way.